Note: this is part of a continuing series that teaches men, the women who love them, and anyone else interested in developing their sexuality to the next level the art of vaginal massage. You can read part one through six of the series by clicking here: Mastering the art of vaginal massage…part one, part two, part three, part four, and part five.
We’ve been talking about doing a ritual before getting skin to skin with your lover.
Here is my favorite, a classic “Heart-Opening” ritual that works perfectly before massaging your woman’s vagina:
Imagine this: Your woman walks into the room after bathing in the sumptuous bubble bath you made up for her. Her skin is flushed; she’s wearing the big, fluffy terry cloth robe and slippers you bought her. She’s already feeling pampered and cherished in a way few women ever experience at the hands of a lover, at least not after the first blush of romance wears off. She sees the new red satin sheets on the bed.
“Wow, those look beautiful,” she says appreciatively.
You have four big, scented candles burning. The room is dark, but you both are glowing in the soft candlelight. You’ve bought yourself a robe to wear as well, in navy blue, giving you an elegant look she may not have seen for a while. The air is thick with the scent of ylang ylang: exotic, deep, sultry. It fills the room with the promise of an ecstatic journey.
You’re standing erect, with great posture, your chin slightly tucked, your feet rooted to the floor, breathing deeply into your abdomen, your eyes focused intently on her face.
“Come here,” you say, your voice coming from your belly. You point to a spot two and a half feet in front of where you’re standing. She comes.
“I want you. You’re mine,” you say in a voice you’ve practiced a hundred times in front of the bathroom mirror, until Clint Eastwood would have a hard time beating your bravado.
“Yes.”
You reach your right hand out and place it underneath her robe, over her heart. She in turn places her right hand over your heart. You place your left hands over each other’s right hands. You start to breathe in rhythm with her. As you feel her chest expand you breathe in, all the way down into your belly. Then, as you feel her chest sink back, you breathe out. You gaze into her left eye. For men and women, the left eye and hand are your “receiving” eyes and hands. It’s easier to take in your partner’s energy through them. Conversely, it’s easier to give energy to your partner through your right eye and hand. These aren’t rules you can’t break, but they’ve proven to work for energetic lovers through the centuries.
Once you are breathing in sync with her and feeling heart-connected, you imagine looking through her left eye, down her throat, and into her heart. I realize this may seem far-fetched to some men reading this. My only suggestion is to try it out. This is the sort of energetic sexual move that allows women to melt into the sex kittens many of them long to become in the bedroom. If you never unlock the door that leads to her radiant heart you can’t expect to benefit from the fullness of her love. Imagine you can get a sense of this woman’s soul (in fact many men can, often from the first time you do the exercise). What’s deep down inside? What is the quality of the beauty lying in her heart? Just pretend, for the moment, that you can feel her soul as you gaze into her eyes. You might imagine a warm, glowing golden white light there, and feel it radiate up into your hand.
Continue to gaze into each other’s eyes, gazing down into each other’s souls, and breathing together, for two or three minutes. You’ll have to experience how powerful this technique is to believe it, but most people report feeling an intimate connection and appreciation for the person with whom they perform this ritual. (At a class where I taught this technique, a young man came up afterwards and said he felt more connected to his workshop partner, whom he had never met before, than to any of the women he’d ever dated.) After three minutes or so, take your hands away. At this point you might slow dance for a few minutes as you continue to breathe in sync with her, at the same time rubbing your hands over her back, neck and backside through the robe, gently grinding her chest and pelvis to you as you move together.
“Lay down.”
She does.
Next time: she’s lying on the bed! What’s your first move? Until then, please write with any questions/comments! Do you have any heart-opening rituals you use in your relationship? If you’ve tried the one described here, what do you think?
Blessings, Dr. Leonard