Note: this is part of a continuing series that teaches men, the women who love them, and anyone else interested in developing their sexuality to the next level the art of vaginal massage. You can read part one through six of the series by clicking here: Mastering the art of vaginal massage…part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, and part six.
Last time we detailed a “heart opening” ritual to connect you at a deep level with your lover and perhaps experience her spirit through your heart and hands.
Can you feel/see how doing this sort of soul-to-soul connection will lay down a red carpet covered with roses on which your lover can walk, ready to receive your attentions?
It’s not about sexual technique. It’s about keeping your heart open when you’re sharing yourself with her. It’s about doing everything you can to open that beautiful heart of hers, so you can enjoy all the love you deserve. It’s about making your life deeper, richer, and more comfortable.
The room should be comfortably warm. It’s a good idea before you start massaging to ask, “How’s the temperature?” “Are you comfortable?” Also, while she’s settling in, go to the kitchen and microwave your water-based lubricant for 10-15 seconds.
She can go naked or, depending on the temperature or her temperament, stay dressed in her robe. (Some women feel self-conscious, even with a long-time lover, lying naked on a bed. In an upcoming post I’ll go into more detail about dressing your woman for these occasions.)
The stage is set and your woman is lying on sumptuous satin sheets, relaxed and ready to go. Or is she? Perhaps she needs some cuddling or a foot rub or easy conversation to settle in and get comfortable. Do whatever you need to help her relax.
Now is the time for you to settle in. Gracefully sit on the bed, cross-legged, close to her right hip. If you have trouble sitting cross-legged, take pillows and place them under your knees for support. If you’re left handed then you’ll sit on her left, and all of the following instructions will be reversed.
Now, drape her right leg over your left knee so that her legs are spread. Whenever you move/touch her, do it gently and with great intent; know exactly what you want to do before you do it, and concentrate while you make your moves.
Don’t be sloppy.
Have your bottle of lubricant handy. Astroglide is inexpensive and can be bought at most pharmacies, in the family planning section, as can Excite gel, a product that when rubbed onto the clitoris will make it more sensitive. For the money, these are the best alternatives. Other, more expensive and exotic formulas are worth exploring as well. There is no cookbook formula for what will work best on your woman, but it’s fun finding out the perfect combination for her.
I’m giving you a template here, assuming you’ve prepared your woman to receive this kind of pleasure. Although, with a new lover you may need to spend time kissing, cuddling and massaging other parts of her before you sit beside her and start fingering her love petals. When you’ve done your best to create a relaxed, fun, adventurous, erotic mood, your vaginal massage will flow in five parts:
You’ll begin by helping your lover open her heart, you’ll describe your woman’s vagina to her, massage her vaginal lips, massage her clitoris with your left hand, and then use your right hand to massage her vagina.
Next time: get ready to do deep! Until then, please write with any questions/comments! What brands of lubricants do you like best and why?
Blessings, Dr. Leonard
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