Note: this is part of a continuing series that teaches men, the women who love them, and anyone else interested in developing their sexuality to the next level the art of vaginal massage. You can read part one through part four of the series by clicking here: Mastering the art of vaginal massage…part one, part two, part three and part four.
So far we’ve been talking about setting the stage for your vaginal massages. You need to take this seriously. A woman isn’t going to open her genitals, heart and mind to you unless you can demonstrate she can trust you, and setting the stage is a huge part of establishing that trust.
Now it’s time to “dip into” the nuts and bolts of giving a great vaginal massage…
You’ve created an awesomely ecstatic space.
Time for conscious sex play to go deep.
Begin playing the music. Have your Princess Pussylips enter the room by giving her an agreed-on signal, for example, knock three on the door or the sound of the music. This is yet another example of you taking charge in order for her to relax into the experience.
Do you see the mastery in building these small events into her experience, planning everything to the last detail, versus having her help you change the sheets or shouting, “O.K., I’m ready for you!” when you’re done setting the stage? Can you see if you brought this same “take charge” energy to the non-sexual aspects of your relationship that your woman would more easily trust and surrender to you in the bedroom?
When she walks into the room, tell her how great she looks:
“Damn, babe, you look awesome.”
“Whew! Gorgeous! I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
Now, perform a ritual to start the energy between you moving in the right direction. What’s a ritual? It might sound a bit woo-woo, but you don’t need to paint your face or chant naked around the room. A ritual is simply a set of actions and/or words with symbolic value that creates an emotional, mental or physical response in you both.
Creating rituals and building them into your relationship keeps the energy between you high and fresh. For some couples this might be a long, slow hug or slow dance. For others they might exchange “Namaste” greetings, hands in prayer position at the chest, with formal bows.
Next time: my favorite ritual for connecting with my lover, the “Heart Opening” exercise.
Until then, please write with any questions/comments! What rituals do you use to connect with your lover, inside and outside the bedroom?
Blessings, Dr. Leonard