Note: this is part of a continuing series that teaches men, the women who love them, and anyone else interested in developing their sexuality to the next level the art of vaginal massage. See previous blogs, starting at The Vaginal Massage Playbook/Part One for any of the information you’ve missed up until this point.

We’d taken a short break in our story of how to massage your lover’s vagina in parts twelve and thirteen of this series to spend some time getting to know her clitoris. Let’s get back into the flow. (See part eleven to refresh your memory if you need to see where we are.)

Once you have your left finger rubbing up and down on the most sensitive spot of your lover’s clitoris, say:

“I’m going to gently insert my finger into your sweetness now.”

By telling her what you’re going to do, you are, again, building trust. She knows what’s coming, and she can relax into the sensation of you entering her moist love channel. So now, as if you were a safecracker and you’ll go to jail if you make a sloppy move, gently, intently, consciously, insert the tip of your right index finger into your woman’s vagina. Hold it there for three deep, focused breaths. Say:

“Open yourself for me. Spread your legs a bit, and offer yourself as a gift to me.”

As she opens her legs, slowly move your finger all the way in. Take all the time you want. The more anticipation you build, the better. Her vaginal canal will also appreciate a slow entrance, as it will allow it to stay relaxed. A fast entry either with a finger or a penis can have some women subconsciously shut down to protect themselves from rough handling. Save any rough stuff until she’s wet, juicy, and opened.

Now turn your hand counterclockwise so the palm is facing down toward the bed, with your right index finger pressing down against the bottom of your woman’s vagina. This will stretch her vagina and clitoris, making them more sensitive. Then massage the highly sensitive tissue attaching to her perineum, directly under your finger.

Now that you’re all the way in, start to slowly move your finger back and forth in a sweeping motion, covering the bottom of her vagina with your strokes. Do this 20 times, or for about 2 minutes. I’m giving you a cookbook formula here, but if you feel she would enjoy less or more time, you can adjust accordingly. You should also ask her, “How’s that pressure?” “Would you like me to go slower or faster?” And, before you move on, “Would you like me to spend some more time on this part of you?”

Next time we’ll spend a moment talking about getting this kind of feedback in a way that doesn’t make you feel incompetent (even though when you first start doing vaginal massages you are incompetent).  Until then, please write with any questions or comments. Men, what are your major concerns about doing vaginal massages? Women, what advice can you give us to help us out?


Dr. Leonard