Note: this is part of a continuing series that teaches men, the women who love them, and anyone else interested in developing their sexuality to the next level the art of vaginal massage. See previous blogs, starting at The Vaginal Massage Playbook/Part One for any of the information you’ve missed up until this point.
You’ve taken some time to verbally cherish your woman by focusing and describing her vagina to her, you’ve massaged her labia lips…and now…
Open the bottle of clitoral stimulating gel and squeeze a pea-sized drop on the tip of your left index finger. Set the gel bottle aside and gently rub the gel over your lover’s clitoris. After coating her clitoris with gel, put more lubricant on the fingertips of your left hand.
Now move your left index finger to the right side of her clitoral hood, and your left middle finger onto her clitoral head, so it rests on her ”Butterfly Spot” (a term coined by a California sex-researcher in the 70’s).
On many women the Butterfly Spot is the most nerve-rich area of the clitoris, the chocolate center of her Tootsie Pop, and it is also ground zero for energetic sex enthusiasts. Make friends with it.
Start rubbing her Butterfly Spot with an up and down motion, either directly or from the side, through her clitoral hood, with a steady pressure and rhythm. If you’ve ever seen the pendulum of a grandfather clock swing back and forth, that’s the kind of unvarying rhythm you want to maintain.
Most women find that this steady approach puts them in the fast lane on the orgasm highway. Some prefer a road with more twists and turns, but at first go with the percentages. You can ask in a minute or two, “Would you like me to change the pressure or rhythm I’m using?” Ask her to use sounds (“Oooohhhh…” “Ahhhhhh…”) and phrases like, “That’s Great” or “Perfect” to give you clues that she’s liking what you’re doing. If she wants you to do something different, polite phrases like, “Softer, please” or “A little slower”.
Again, the more comfortable you get, the less coaching you’ll need. You’ll come to know how your woman is likely to respond to different pressures, rhythms, strokes, and finger placements. Always encourage her to let you know what feels good or doesn’t while you’re playing in her lush flesh fields, and also ask her about how to improve your technique at other times, such as over dinner, during a walk, or while driving to the grocery store. These are good times to float different ideas. (“What if I went slower, but deeper, and then really dragged my finger slowly across your G-spot?”) Obviously, the variations are only limited by your imagination, which will grow as you do more vaginal massages.
Once you have your left finger going, say:
“I’m going to gently insert my finger into your sweetness now.”
By telling her what you’re going to do you are, again, building trust. She knows what’s coming, and she can relax into the sensation of you entering her moist love channel. So now, as if you were a safecracker and you’ll go to jail if you make a sloppy move, gently, intently, consciously, insert the tip of your right index finger into your woman’s vagina. Hold it there for three deep, focused breaths. Say:
“Open yourself for me. Spread your legs a bit and offer yourself as a gift to me.”
Next time: what to do when she does. Until then, please write with any questions/comments.
Blessings, Dr. Leonard